We had a few of our good friends over for New Year’s Eve this year. As the six of us were sitting around the dinner
table, someone asked about resolutions. Usually
I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions…I figure if you need to make a change
in your life, why put it off until January 1st? (I also pretty consistently
bomb on my resolutions by the 2nd or 3rd week of January,
so it sort of feels like I’m setting myself up for failure). Anyways, this year I had actually thought
about it in advance, and I had two great resolutions that I was genuinely
excited about.
Resolution # 1: Laundry.
Folding laundry is about my least favorite thing
in the world to do. The result is a lot of
clean laundry that doesn't ever find its way home to the dresser or closet. I decided starting January 1st I
was going to FOLD each load as it came out of the dryer! (PLEASE do NOT ask my
husband how I am doing with this resolution.
Remember…I hate resolutions).
And, Resolution #2: BLOG!
Honestly, you guys, writing this blog has been the most
amazing experience for me. The people that
have followed along and encouraged my family as we ride this roller-coaster are
incredible. I feel so unbelievably supported by this community that Dylan and
our family have here. But even more
importantly, when I write this blog, I process.
I have never been someone to journal or spend time writing for pleasure. But when I sat down at my computer just a few
weeks after Dylan was born, and tried to figure out how to talk about it…something
amazing happened. I wrote that first blog post from the depths of my soul. It
was a crazy, emotional, tearful, chills-up-the-spine afternoon. When I finished writing, I read what was on
the screen and it felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my weary,
broken shoulders. I can’t say enough how
uplifting this process of blogging has been.
So why haven’t I been back in over 3 months??? I could say I've been busy (that’s the super
easy, super lame excuse). But I think in
all honesty, I have been enjoying my sweet Dylan and our little day-to-day life…pretending
everything is good and normal…and when I come to this blog and write and
process with you guys, the reality of it all becomes so much more real. The part of me that loves to ignore the hard
truth (and the 4 loads of clean laundry in the corner of my bedroom!!) has
avoided coming back. But…alas…it is now
January 25th and I am DETERMINED to keep my resolutions this year!!
So……..where did we leave off?
Dylan has made more progress in the past few months than ever
before! I have so many amazing things to
share. The most notable achievement, and
most absolutely heartwarming, is that he is starting to walk!! When we began to learn about Microcephaly and
the challenges that Dylan would face, I remember so clearly wondering if this
day would ever come. We live in a house
with lots of open space and hardwoods throughout….and I tried to convince
myself that it would be ok if he was confined to a wheelchair. We could make it work. But I held so tightly to the prediction made by Dr. Dobyns at Seattle Children’s Hospital when we visited him a year ago...he
said Dylan would walk. Sometimes I would
watch him moving and it just seemed so hard, so far from that next step of
taking actual steps. Last September he
started pulling to stand. The first time
it happened was up against a toilet. I
was getting ready after having taken a shower, Dylan was in the bathroom
hanging out with me. I had my back
turned to him, and when I glanced over my shoulder there he was, standing up
against the toilet…watching his binky float around in the big bowl of
water. In that split second I was both
totally grossed out and absolutely amazed by what had just happened. In the next couple of months, he got more and
more efficient with pulling to stand. It
was SO hard for him, but he was motivated.
By mid-December he had become totally comfortable being up in a standing
position…as long as he was leaning on something or felt completely secure with
whatever he was holding on to. He wouldn't
cruise along furniture, walk behind a push toy, or even stand up holding on to
your hands, because that would make him feel too unsteady. He wanted to feel the security of something
solid up against his belly (because he has very low muscle tone through his
core, his back and trunk weren't able to hold him up on their own). So when his physical therapist decided to see
how Dylan would handle being upright in a walker at that mid-December appointment,
neither one of us had very high expectations for what he would do. But as has been the case so many times before…Dylan
totally surprised us by taking independent steps in the walker that day! I couldn't even contain my excitement. I walked out of that appointment and burst
into tears, thinking about what I had just witnessed. It took a ton of assistance and it wasn't
pretty, but for the first time, DYLAN HAD WALKED!!!
A couple weeks later, his therapist loaned us the walker to take
home. Dylan now had the ability to
practice his walking every day, not just during his therapy appointments. The first couple days were amazing. We brought the walker home on December 23rd,
and my dream of Dylan walking out to the tree on Christmas morning came
true! That was the absolute best gift I
could have been given this year. He
showed off that day for family, and seemed to love his new trick. That is, until the day after Christmas, when
he decided he was over this whole walking thing, and went back to exclusively crawling. I’m not going to lie and say I
wasn't disappointed. I thought we were
on our way to independent walking, but Dylan had other ideas. I would stand him up in the walker, he would
immediately drop down to his knees. Over
and over, day after day. His will was
strong, and he was NOT going to walk! So
I waited patiently, and kept giving him the opportunity to try. His PT encouraged me to just give him time,
assuming that he probably had sore muscles from overusing them the first few
days that we had the walker (muscles that had never been used before). So a week or so ago, when he started walking
AGAIN, and kept walking, I was SO happy!
This time it’s for real. He still
tires easily, but he is so proud of himself and he wants to keep trying. He got pretty good at doing laps around our living
room and family room, so now we have started taking the walker out and about
through our daily routine. He has walked
in to pick up Jack from preschool, walked in to his music class, even walked
from the parking lot all the way into the physical therapy clinic in the back
corner of the hospital. And, most
impressive of all, this past weekend the sun made a rare January appearance and
Dylan walked almost the entire way to the park, two whole blocks! (It was a long trek home for this mom…carrying
both Dylan AND the walker…but worth it for the experience of letting him walk
there by himself).
I have so many other things to tell you guys about! Great things, new ways that Dylan is engaging
with the world and displaying his personality!
And some hard things…moments when I feel so tired and overwhelmed with
what is coming (please, if you see me anytime soon, tell me to stop thinking about when Dylan
goes to school…no good can come of stressing out about it now!). And I can’t wait to tell you about a really
exciting gift we were given that deserves a blog post all of its own! So I've made it public (25 days late!), that
I am committed to continue blogging. If
you haven’t heard from me for a while, check in! Most likely I need to write a blog post more
for myself and the need to process than for any other reason. Feel free to keep me accountable to that.
I will leave you with a couple videos.
If we are Facebook friends, you have probably already seen some of
these. But they are worth sharing for
those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of watching! I have probably watched each of these 100
times already, and will need to watch them 100 more times before I believe they
actually happened! What an amazing kid!
Dylan walking for the first time at his physical therapy appt in Mid. December
Merry Christmas!!
Walking to the park!
Walking to the park!
Walking to the park!